Fat and taking care of myself

Investigating saturated fat grams in view to keeping near 12 has been eye opening.  I sat down and calculated grams of saturated fat I consumed on Wednesday.  24 grams.  Some surprises, a Twix candy bar (9 grams!)  has 3 times more than a piece of homemade fugdge (2.5) My chocol craving coincided with a colleague's homemade present of fudge, I couldn't refuse, I still have half the Twix in the frig. Back to fat, the killer is butter on my toast, 7 grams.   Peanut butter is a lot better than butter.  Got to fill up on grains, veg, fruit to keep it to 12 grams, but it is possible.  Got to find a choc candy bar alternative, my nut bars are, but need something smaller for after lunch, I think.

Thinking about P.E.'s post on building blocks, and Jenny's contributions, I've been thinking about self-care and comforting oneself and how I use my time.  Perhaps I'll reflect on this  more next week, tomorrow I leave for Kripalu, a 5 day program on integrated weight loss, with yoga and meditation that is part of their blend of eastern and western ideas, and try to spend some times getting my thoughts together. And post!

Too Tired

I didn't sleep well last night, so it is the next day at 5:30 in the early evening, and I'm too tired.  Too tired to write, read, think or decided what to eat for dinner.  Being tired makes me forget stuff, slow in making decisions and want to eat junk even when I'm not hungry (just had a snack!)  Guess I'll try to sleep! Wish it were bedtime.

Research

Gratified to learn that the diet plan I chose aligns pretty well with recent research (a study following 120,000 people for 5 years, impressive) and published in the New England Journal of Medicine.  I heard about it from the NYT article.  Of course sticking to the plan is the key.  Today I passed by the fruit and indulged in some chocolate, that is not how it is done!  But, I did so after having a good lunch, I guess I've got the nutrition today, but maybe not the weight loss.  Anyway, reading the above helped me.

The curved and wide path

Ate-out some in past few days, but Asian food,  sushi and  a tofu and veg stir fry, so could be worse.  I'm having trouble avoiding some of the saturated fats, butter on my toast, still treat myself to cream in coffee (its still in frig) and enjoyed french toast stuffed with cream cheese on Sunday, yum.  I haven't been counting my fat grams, but try to keep them lower.  Shifted to greek yogurt for my breakfast, but I don't like is as well. Had toast (whole grain) this morning, with butter and honey, comfort food.

Made a big pesto pasta with chicken this weekend and will have it for many meals this week. Also homemade granola. Good foods and plenty to fill up on.

Yoga Monday night felt great, Wed also and looking forward to week long retreat with daily yoga next week.

Just the facts, and the emotions

Several ideas today, I’ll go chronological. 

Last night I met friends to see a movie. I love watching movies, but sometimes, not with friends. I was in a bad mood and even before the movie started, while we met up at the entrance I experienced anticipatory annoyance at listening to their opinions of the film (esp. cf. to my insights.)   

However, I’m glad I stayed for dinner together afterwards.  When we settled at a table in a nearby restaurant (some of us gave in to those who wanted Mexican)… or maybe a bit later when the drinks arrived, I had a medium margarita (big!)….  But definitely by the time the good food arrived, I felt we were a more convivial group and even had a good discussion of the movie.  I was happy and glad to be with my friends.    The importance of eating togehter?  When we talked about food and drink, it was “all good” we had lots of sympathy for each others’ views, whether sharing the glory of an bratwurst or empathizing with rubbery eggs.  Despite my socialization, attempts at personal growth towards patience, eating while in company helps me cope!

Restaurant food was rich, the margarita empty calories, but I’d eating nice, fresh fruits and veggies earlier in the day.

This morning I listened to a FreshAir/Terri Gross interview from the woman who wrote, My Stroke of Insight. Very interesting I want to read it.  Because of where the stroke hit, she lost the ability to connect moments in time. Bad news: she couldn’t learn, function.  But this loss put her in a good mood; she said it blissed out.  Her left-brain was damaged and now, after her recovery, when she clenches her teeth (or some action associated with thinking/worrying) she realizes she is in her “left brain” and she’d be happier to get out of there.  She thinks this is the point of most religion and spirituality. To live in the moment.  Could food do that for us too?

I needed to look up nutrients for some foods that don’t come with labels, so of course, being a reference librarian, I chose the USDA nutrient database, which is information overload for a dietitian feeding an army; but, I was glad I used it.  When I looked up egg, hard-boiled, I got a table with about 30 potential nutrients, each  with grams incl in one egg.    I was impressed at how many of the nutrients on the list are in an egg! Found out granola is  high in fat, though good for  the nutrient also also.  So, I had pancakes for breakfast (with strawberries), not so high in fat, or nutrients.  Alas, yum!

Slip-sliding away

I ended my last entry with idea of support.  P.E. blogged that we have a community here! and I think, for this project, that will be my support.  Right now, at least, reporting my thoughts, progress in this fashion appeals.  Kind of like talking to a shrink, who hears but doesn't respond much.  Well, I'm kind of responding to P.E. But, mostly I see this as a vent for my thoughts.  And, the mundane details, it helps to list what I eat.  Anyone (or everyone!) reading this can skip that bit. I find the"alone, together" feel of blogging/this community comforting.

I have attended a group, over-eater's anonymous, briefly, and I liked it. I'm a bit of a group addict (ha!).  But, in the end I chose to go to a yoga class during that time slot, and I found it of more help, personally.  My yoga class is also a community, the yoga we do is demanding, so that brings us together, fellow fighters in achieving alignment and holding our poses, with a strong leader in our yoga teacher (not to say drill sargent, but perhaps they can be sweet as well.)

I feel pretty good and well supported.

Yesterday I had a cheese sandwich (cheese-9 grams of saturated fat, yikes), cherries, an afternoon snack bar.  After yoga class, esp in the summer, I really enjoy a good salad, I added good Parmesan and walnuts and ate several slices of bread with it.  I recall doing this before when I was getting on a good-eating track; at first I'd have those extra portions, often slices of bread, after I while I realized I didn't need them and cut back. 
Today I work late, had the morning off, so I had a big breakfast (kosher on med. diet); I had two eggs (more than a week's worth on a the TLC.)  As I was eating the eggs, I realized, I really could have been fine with one.  I also made hash-browns (fried in olive oil) and toast with jam.  So, it was a splurge, but only the extra egg was outside my plan.  Had a lunch meeting were pizza was served, with lots of veggies on top.  I notice I'm eating quite a bit of bread, that is not fashionable now, but always seems to agree with me alright.  But, I'm not eating as many servings of fruit as called for. Need to get to the grocery store to stock up on fruit options and salad fixings.

I'm heading to a yoga retreat at the Kripalu center, to learn about integrated weight loss.  Just signed up for a total body skin treatment in addition.  Kind of reminds me of my jiggly bits, but at least they will be clean and shiny!

I don't jump

P.E. blogged about the advantages of a slow start when making changes; And asked,

What about you?  Does "jump starting" work for you or do you think it is better to go slow?

I agreed with her reasoning, slower, and thoughtful, well thought-through changes are likely to abide.  And mindfulness does seem to be a useful mantra here.

Reminds me of a tip from another friend,  "Very interesting book that I listened to by Geneen Roth (who will be at Kripalu), “Women, Food, and God” in which she posits that food is our friend, not our enemy. It all boils down to mindful eating and eating only when hungry. Good reading."

Then, there are the individual differences/needs.  I'm not a jumper, physically, emotionally, intellectually (well, I can jump to a conclusion with the best) but, fundamentally, I'm ruminative and most of my thoughts are afterthoughts.  So, I'm likely to be a slow starter.

I also like simplifying, the idea appeals to be, perhaps because my thinking can get weighed down with details; I'm sometimes recalcitrant to change.  I don't like change, actually. Hmmmm

So, I go for slow, non-jump starting. And, let's face it, change is difficult.  Recipe for success seems to involve: mindfulness, time, support.